How to Have An Honest Conversation With Yourself: Part 2

Mike Coval
January 7, 2021

As promised, here's part 2 of this series.

As we discussed previously, being honest with ourselves is tough. Very tough. Probably one of the toughest things that we have to do in our lives because it the need for it arises in our lives so frequently yet depending on the circumstances, it fluctuates in intensity and complexity.

My goal with this post is to give you a simple, 2-step framework to operate from.

1) Know your core values

Treat others the way you wish to be treated.

Be genuine.

Be honest.

Take care of yourself first so that you can be your best for others.

I do my absolute best to LIVE by these core values.

When the need to be honest with yourself arises, if you have core values, then it makes it much easier to determine if you're truly being honest with yourself or you're just bullshitting yourself to make yourself feel better about your situation.

2) Weigh the potential consequences of your decision

I'll give you an example here from the last post in this series.

Remember the story about me making up the story about taking a certification the weekend that I was asked to speak at that conference?

After it happened, I was so disgusted with myself. This feeling wasn't unfamiliar for me as this wasn't the first time that I avoided something that I knew was going to be painful, yet beneficial for me.

I knew that I was sick of this feeling when it came to public speaking though.

So, I thought about how it could negatively impact me down the road.

If I let this continue then......

-I help less people which conflicts with my goal of helping as many people as I can

-I will never even come close to my full potential as a professional as I will limit my opportunities

-I will hang onto this resentment toward myself for passing opportunities that I know that are not only good for my personal development, but professional development

The list could keep going on forever, but you get the picture. Everything that is bold and italicized above was and is unacceptable to me. That's when I hired a public speaking coach and never looked back.


It's really that simple. If your decision aligns with your core values then that should be enough, but double check your core values with the potential consequences that would result if you don't take the action that you're not comfortable with. Maybe you're not okay with the consequences and that's enough for you to take action and confront your fears.

It's also possible that you're living your core values AND you're okay with the possible consequences.

I'd say that in that scenario, then you're more than likely being honest with yourself and your actions, or lack thereof, are legitimate.

Hope that helps!

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Mike Coval

Coval Fitness is a Personal Training Studio and Gym in Ann Arbor, Michigan

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