How to Have an Honest Conversation with Yourself: Part 1

Mike Coval
January 7, 2021

I think one of the hardest things for us to do as human beings is to be TRULY honest with ourselves about ourselves.

In fact, I took pride in the fact that I thought I was honest with myself over the past couple of years. That is up until a couple of months ago.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe and know that I got better about being honest with myself over the past couple of years, but I was convinced that I did it no matter what.

I was lying to myself.

For the past 3 years I've wanted to deliver a service online to high school basketball players that helped them prepare off-the-court (strength & conditioning, nutrition, mindset, and recovery) so that they can be their best on-the-court and improve their chances of playing college basketball.

3 years ago, I started an Instagram page for that service and told myself I would start there. I had a logo made, started putting out content, and then I just stopped. I told myself that I didn't have enough time and that I needed to make sure that I focus on COVAL Fitness and nothing else. Part of that was true. The other half of the truth was that I sucked at managing my time and it was too difficult for me to get on a more regimented schedule. I didn't want to admit that.

Over that time I continued to work with dozens of high school and college basketball players. When 2020 rolled around I committed more time to producing content geared toward what I initially set out to do.

When I decided to downsize COVAL Fitness due to COVID, then all this sudden more time and more time to focus on myself suddenly appeared. I could finally make this happen.

I started producing content and eventually, I told myself, I would start with a YouTube channel.

I kept putting off the YouTube channel. But why?

I finally confronted myself and made myself say what I knew was there all along, but didn't want to admit to myself.

I was scared. You see, I've hated public speaking for the longest time. I had a bad experience in high school and it made a kid already shy to talk in public become petrified to talk in public.

It carried into my adult life. Into my professional life. Back in 2013 I was invited to speak at convention for prestigious certification organization within our industry. I said that I couldn't because I had a certification that I was taking that weekend. TRUTHBOMB: I didn't have a certification that weekend. I was simply too damn scared.

I was so ashamed of my lack of integrity that I hired a public speaking coach. Since then, things have gotten MUCH better.

However, I encounter the same fear in 2020.

Being on camera. Publishing it on the internet for people to comment & judge. What if this thing takes off and I'm successful with it?!

I literally had those thoughts run through my head and then I just said out loud, "I'm scared of being judged."

After I was honest with myself, then I started putting the counterargument to being scared into action.

"Think of all of the kids that you will be doing a disservice to if you DON'T put out this information"

"Let your ego go. For the kids. For the game of basketball. If you really strive to make a positive impact at the ground level then man up and let your ego go."

Ever since then, I've been more comfortable putting out content, but still nervous.

The more I do it, the more comfortable I will become. I'm going to make mistakes along the way, but that's going to be miniscule compared to the impact that it's going to make on these kids and their dreams.

Hopefully, this story inspires you to do some reflecting or perhaps you even have your own story that you overcame (I'd love to hear about it!). Get those wheels spinnin' and I'll be back next week with Part 2 where I give you a framework on how to have honest conversations with yourself.

Friday, I'm back with another installment of "Keeping Ann Arbor Area Restaurants Alive & Eating Healthy".

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Mike Coval

Coval Fitness is a Personal Training Studio and Gym in Ann Arbor, Michigan

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Coval Fitness is a Personal Training Studio and Gym in Ann Arbor, Michigan
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