Being Someone Else Is Exhausting

Mike Coval
April 23, 2021

We've all been at points in our lives where we do things that conflict with who we are.

I'm not talking on a level of where you're consistently acting in a manner where you're harming others. If you're routinely being a menace to society, then you're an asshole and this post isn't' for you.

I'm also not talking about doing things that take you out of your comfort zone in order for you to grow as a person. Those kind of things are necessary to create change that we seek in our lives.

I'm talking about doing things that you believe you should be doing because you believe it's required for your desired end result, but those things just don't jive with your soul.

I've joined a handful of business coaching groups over the years where they encourage doing certain activities in order to grow your company and have more success.

These things that they encourage weren't wrong, they just aren't me.

Sometimes I'd take their advice, but mold it into a way that worked for me. Often times, this would take months or even years to do.

Sometimes I'd ignore their advice completely because it was so against me and what I believe.

Then there were times, I'd take their advice, implement it, and then be miserable for long periods of time any time that I was reminded of that decision because it didn't feel like me.

Case in point, check out my website ( "Personal Training Studio for Busy People Over 40". This wasn't my idea. This was my web/marketing person. I fought. I resisted. I knew what they were trying to do and what their stance is. A more targeted message is more effective.

I hated the idea of creating a message like that because it's not accurate of the population that I've worked. That message shuns away others that who are trying to become better, healthier, and happier version of themselves, but don't fit that tagline

The other piece of that is that if you look around at the COVAL clientele over the years, the diversity of the clients is one of the things that I've enjoyed the most about the gym. It makes things interesting. It makes things challenging. It keeps things fresh.

On a deeper level it brings people from all walks of life (race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, age, political affiliations) together into a space where the environment doesn't focus on differences among one another, but rather on the fact that everyone is at COVAL to become a better version of themselves. That was the bond between clients. Just good people trying to do better.

Back to the website. Eventually I gave into their idea.

This change was made late last Summer/early Fall. I hated it then. I hated it even more over time. It made me cringe thinking about it and anytime anyone brought it up with me I'm sure they knew how much I didn't like it through my tone, body language, and words that I used to describe it.

The bottom line: it isn't me.

I finally reached out to my web person over the weekend and asked if we could go back to the old layout for the time being until I can think of a better way to build the website out. I just received a reminder to touch base with them again as they haven't responded to my initial request (thanks, Boomerang!).

My hope for you is that if you're in a similar spot in your life, that you are inspired to take action right now rather than wait 8 months like I did. It's painfully exhausting being someone you're not.


I realize this can sound a bit melodramatic given that may seem like it's just a website, but to me, it's a representation of my professional work which I take very seriously and I don't want it misrepresented.

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Mike Coval

Coval Fitness is a Personal Training Studio and Gym in Ann Arbor, Michigan

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COVAL Fitness

Personal Training Studio in Ann Arbor, Michigan

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100 Phoenix Dr #170, Ann Arbor, MI 48108

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Coval Fitness is a Personal Training Studio and Gym in Ann Arbor, Michigan
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